| -- |  |
|
EXT. DRAKE FAMILY HOME – BALCONY – DAY Jeffery Drake: Here’s looking at you kid (1). Daybreak on the Pacific in Manhattan Beach, California. Jeffery Drake, his wife Elisabeth (2) and manager Ransom lean against the railing. Elisabeth is draped by a blanket, and has a slight shiver. There is holly hung against the framing of the rails, Ransom wears a Santa cap. All three of them have hot chocolate – a photographer edges into the corner of the frame. She snaps a number of photos. When she’s done, she step back and the threesome breaks their holiday character. It’s eighty degrees out, it’s southern California – Christmas rarely ever comes to the City of Angels. Ransom edges towards the camera. Jeffery and his wife go over things in the background. Ransom: Hello out there. We’ve woken up early this morning to give you, the fans, a glimpse of our Charm family holiday photo shoot – 2006! When you have as many friends as we do, you have to take those photos early to make sure everyone gets one. Mr. Drake asked us to film our outing so he could a couple words in to his peers. He’s a multi-tasker. But while we reset here and wait for others to show up to take some shots – I’d like to pass along a little lesson to people. I’m a veteran of the industry, one that’s taken quite seriously. Ransom rips off his Santa hat. Ransom: A professional in every sense of the word. And I’m going to talk about what seems to be many people’s favorite pastime, namedropping. He takes a sip of his hot chocolate and starts walking indoors as the camera follows him. He passes “the Extreme Dream” (3) – the former tag partners do not share a friendly glance. Ransom: As with most trends, a pioneer sets up a precedent – others struggle to catch up and try to overachieve. They fail to the point where it becomes so comical that the pioneer gives up on things altogether. The pioneer comes up with something new, recycle, reduce, reuse – close the loop – a broken record. Ransom finds a seat inside next to Dan Timberland (4), his former announcing partner. Timberland immediately stands up and leaves the shot. Ransom: Namedropping is NOT one of these trends. Anyone can do, everyone does it – and very few of you do it productively. Sure I can walk through these catacombs of the Drake estate and run up to all sorts of the casts of characters that the Charm family produced over the years – hell there’s Crysis (5)! Ransom points to the corner and camera jerks to catch a smaller Asian-American. He looks happy to get some screen time, but Ransom quickly calls the camera back to him. Ransom: And sure – you don’t know who Crysis is – or his stablemates Sunbeam (6), Moonbeam (7) and Hippie Galore (8). But we’ve put them on camera, we’ve dropped their names hear today – that makes us more important? That makes us seem cooler, hipper? Or a waste of time? What about the names we DIDN’T say? Are they less important? We’re they left out for a reason? Marcia, Marcia, Marcia (9)! What’s the best way to handle things? Sidney Twilight (10) takes a seat next to Ransom in the shot. She’s very pregnant (10.5). Ransom: Let’s share an example of an improper method of namedropping. New-slutter – sorry, I mean newcomer, Ryan Ford (11.5) dropped the following names to my man, Jeffery Drake: “Pete Ebdon (12.5), Matt Cage (13.5) [and] Shawn Marks (14.5).” Saying that she wants someone of the their caliber to be her first opponent. Let’s detail how this is an improper method of namedropping. You don’t mind, right? The always-smiling Sidney Twilight nods. Ransom: One. You assumed that no one here knows any of these names, and with that mere fact they MUST be good, quality talent. You’re half right, no one knows the names, and no one cares where you came from. However, we know that those three names suck. I hate to be so simple and vague, but they suck. You could provide tape, transcripts, give us insight into these guys mental psyche – but it wouldn’t matter. They suck. They suck for the mere fact that you brought them up and assumed we’d care. Sidney quickly loses her smile and grows bored of his rant. Ransom leaves the third-trimester mistress and walks back out towards the balcony. Ransom: Two. We already know what you consider talent, mainly yourself and your fictional title reigns. Anyone you call attention in this context isn’t going to be someone you look up to, a mentor, a hero – they are going to be safe names that you don’t feel intimidated by. In this context, the way you use these names, you put yourself on a pedestal, and forget how far you still have to angle your neck skywards in order to see your competition here in my representative. Ransom takes his spot back out on the balcony. This time joined by not only Jeffery Drake, but also Shawn Twilight (16.5 – he’s worth two), unanimously your favorite world heavyweight champion. Ransom: Three. Three is an overrated number. And finally four, when you drop names, it’s very important to recognize the person you’re dropping them to. Very important. The guys standing next to me right now, can name-drop all they want without consequence. Why? They’re the two most decorated champions you’ve ever had the distinct pleasure of seeing. They revolutionized the industry both in the ring and outside it. They ARE the names that are dropped. And the fact that you don’t know who either of them are – means you have no business dropping other names in their face before you’ve done the research and garner the proper respect. And even after that – assume you had a real title reign, assume you got a fluke upset win against someone else here – assume you win the lottery and buy out the entire business – you still shouldn’t. Jeffery Drake is Jeffery Drake. DRAKE. Right now, that’s the name. THE name. Even if our president’s staff can’t spell his first name correctly in the ad copy for upcoming cards. Wait... sorry – should I strike that last comment? Jeffery Drake: Don’t worry - he’s (17.5) not listening. Ransom: I’m sure he is, he’s running the show here – when Shawn Twilight was redefining the role of president in the Liberty Wrestling Federation (18.5) he had his hand on the pulse of the community he handled – he heard everything, took notes – the whole deal. Jeffery Drake: He’s not listening. Ransom drops away from the balcony as Twilight and Drake take a few more holiday photos. They drop their smiles and Ransom comes back into frame. Ransom: Well… I think he’s listening. Nonetheless, Mr. Drake you said you had some words for your opponent – no need to go into namedropping, I hit that topic already. Jeffery Drake: You spent the last five minutes talking about namedropping? Who’s going to want to listen to that? Ransom: It’s just a part of my ongoing lessons series – informing our peers and our fans on how they should be doing things as opposed to how they are. Now your message? Ransom drops out of frame. Drake stands next to Shawn Twilight. Jeffery Drake: It’s not that much, just a word to our new friend, Ryan Ford. I’m rather bright. I know your secret. Don’t worry, I won’t share with anyone, I’ll keep it to myself. But with that knowledge, I suggest you take my next words to heart – when you address me in the future – recognize who I am. Don’t act scared; don’t try to act like you’re above it all somehow. Accept it. You’re new to this community. I’m its greatest champion. Recognize it. And maybe you’ll get my respect. And maybe I’ll keep your little obvious secret. Maybe. Drake turns to Twilight. Jeffery Drake: Anything you want to add? Twilight shrugs. Shawn Twilight: Eight’ll be great (20.5). Jeffery Drake: Ah. Now that’s a name-drop. (20.5) – quite an accomplishment at just short of Twenty-One (21.5). Ahhh… dammit.
|
||
|