EXT. DRAKE HOUSEHOLD – BALCONY – NIGHT

Jeffery Drake, his wife Elisabeth and family legal consultant Ransom stand on a balcony overlooking the beach.  They face the camera; the Drakes are sharing a large throw blanket.  To Ransom’s left is a television set up with a still image of a replicant playing with Halloween decorations.

Ransom presses a button on the television set up and Kyle Malone utters the line -

“A copy of a copy of a copy is one too many, I think you'll agree.”

Jeffery Drake:  Thanks for joining us tonight.  We were going to sit back and relax, this first beautiful night of my favorite month – November – but we thought we’d take the opportunity to address you and yours and share this funny thing we heard over the airwaves the other day.

He nods to Ransom who plays the clip again.

“A copy of a copy of a copy is one too many, I think you’ll agree.”

Jeffery Drake:  Yeah, I know we’re not laughing right now, but we’ve had a while to digest the line and trust me, at initial consumption?  Gangbusters!  We were rolling on the floor.  This poor old man almost broke his hip.

Ransom shrugs playfully to the camera.

Jeffery Drake:  Again. 

Ransom plays the clip again.

“A copy of a copy of a copy is one too many, I think you’ll agree.”

Jeffery Drake:  Not the clip again, breaking your hip ag- Nevermind.  I woke up this morning and I forgot your name.  After watching your little skit, and after going back and watching my previous words – I will have to apologize to you.  I will not be forgetting your name this time – at least not for another couple weeks.

Another nod, another button press.

“A copy of a copy of a copy is one too many, I think you’ll agree.”

Jeffery Drake:  Take a step back Malone.  Just get out of your own shoes for a second and take a look at this big picture played out before you.  When you talk about copies, replications, mirror images – you aren’t necessarily referring to me, at least you shouldn’t be, but this federation as a whole.  And here’s the problem.  I’m me.  I’m Jeffery Drake.  I’m who I am, and always have been.  Maybe you squint your eyes and listen closely and you see fragments of Twilight and Misery.  Big deal, they were my mentors, my molders.  No one should have any problem with that.  And just because you may claim I’m nothing new, just the same old story – at least I’m the original story and the original author.

Ransom again.

“A copy of a copy of a copy is one too many, I think you’ll agree.”

Jeffery Drake:  You however, are another story.  Take another step back.  Dig up the archives and talk to some of your friends outside of the locker room – outside of the little circle that feeds you your ideas and gives you unjustified support.  Talk to someone who doesn’t like you or me, but respects the past like you claim to.  Someone everyone trusts.  And here’s what THEY should tell you. 

Again.

“A copy of a copy of a copy is one too many, I think you’ll agree.”

Jeffery Drake:  Your last two interviews are exact replications of Jeffery Drake interviews – just four and five years ago.  They will be able to provide you proof if you demand it, but don’t – no one like to see a verbally crippled individual forced out before he ever got his time to attempt to shine.  You don’t directly quote, you summarize line by line and have a witty retort.  You don’t provide content.  You don’t score points, you get rebounds and assists.  You name-drop while insinuating you’re the only name that matters.  You never act upset, just amused despite your true feelings.

“A copy of a copy of a copy is one too many, I think you’ll agree.”

Jeffery Drake:  And I do ALL OF THOSE THINGS.  I can, I’m Jeffery Drake.  It’s my shtick.  I’ve done it here tonight.  And now listen to this – you’re NOT ripping me off.  That’s right, you’re not ripping me off. 

“A copy of a copy of a copy is one too many, I think you’ll agree.”

Jeffery Drake:  You’re ripping off the guys who were ripping me off four and five years ago.  Congratulations, you’re a founding member of that third generation of un-originals, the copies of copies of copies.

“A copy of a copy of a copy is one too many, I think you’ll agree.”

Jeffery Drake:  I’m not innovating right now?  Ask around.  Ask outside your circle.  Re-watch our brief moments here on the CWA stage – watch our cooking segment, watch our legal notice, watch our approach, watch our ideals, watch our message – this is different before.  We’re not spitting out just insults and comebacks – we’re providing tutorials on how others should go about their business in the world of wrestling.  For the love of the sport – for the love of the speech – not just for the love of winning at all stakes like you believe.  You may claim that’s false.  You’ll be lying.  And the Lord knows, your half-assed interview style is anything but innovation.

“A copy of a copy of a copy is one too many, I think you’ll agree.”

Jeffery Drake:  One bad line, one wrong move – in or out of the ring – will cost you when you’re face-to-face with me.  You can have a match on an upcoming Wednesday night, I have no problem with that – I wanted to start small anyways, get the ring rust off me.  Just don’t show up that night thinking you’re anywhere near my level, or that I’ve fallen in the least.  It’s painfully obvious that I haven’t, ask around, ask outside your supporters.  I’m better than before.  I’m the original Jeffery Drake.

“A copy of a copy of a copy is one too many, I think you’ll agree.”

Ransom shuts off the television.

Jeffery Drake:  Let me help you though… when attempting a reply – go online – go to this little form my agent made for me and conveniently posted on the C.W.A. online message boards.  If you’re going to be painting by numbers every time you’re in front of a camera – you might as well have the process automated.

WEB FORM - So You'd Like to Intimidate... Jeffery Drake

Ransom removes a disc from the television and begins to tear down the setup.

Jeffery Drake:  Vicious, a special thanks to you.  You’re not like Malone.  You have your own style, your own matter of pronunciation.  We applaud that here in the Charm family – it certainly does not go unnoticed.  I’m serious.  And I’m not just saying that because you offered me your salary – quite a nice gesture though.  I can’t take charity in the absolute direct sense; it’s in our financial agreement.  ‘sides after destroying Matt Attict so many times – charity just seems so five years ago. 

Elisabeth tugs out the shared blanket, and indication to get things moving.

Jeffery Drake:  I’m not here to step on any toes, at least not your toes Vicious – you want to be the leader in the locker room, my new found respect for you can let me step aside and let that happen.  As a former leader and multi-time World Heavyweight Champion, let me tell you – being the one that EVERYONE looks up to – it’s not that fun.  Everyone wants to be you so much, they sit at home every night and re-watch and re-watch your old matches, your old interviews.  They start to imitate, subconsciously.  A wise-man once said, “A copy of a copy of a copy is one too many, I’ll think you agree.”  You ready for people to start acting like you to the point you’re forced to stir all the pots, to scramble all the eggs?  Because of intimidation – you’re the only one who can breed progress.  Are you ready to represent this entire place, which put in front of other associations and federations?  It’s quite a thing to handle.

Drake hands the blanket off to his wife and she leaves the scene.

Jeffery Drake:  But I can help you with it.  I’m a reliable guy.  Now – who do you want to face in our inaugural tag outing?

Drake walks off towards the camera and moves his hand past the lens.

Jeffery Drake:  ‘night.