(Seattle, Washington. The Key Arena, an exterior shot of a rain-drenching evening. The Space Needle looks down. We head inside, tickets have been fold and a majority of the seats have been filled. We forego any video packages as Joel Cronus, suit and tie, is in the ring.)
Joel Cronus: Ladies and Gentlemen – welcome to Liberty Wrestling! At this time, I’d like to welcome the co-president of the Liberty Wrestling Federation to the ring – SHAWN TWILIGHT!
(“Not For You” and he means that. Twilight is in a three piece, imported – with a light blue tie. He takes the microphone from Cronus in the ring.)
Shawn Twilight: Thanks Joel. Before we begin tonight, I need to take of a little executive business. Mr. Max Kraft decided he couldn’t make his match tonight, despite demanding a signing bonus.
(Twilight shrugs to the crowd.)
Shawn Twilight: I’d like to welcome him to the bottomless pit of unactivity. And on a more upsetting note – Joe Boxer could not come to a contract agreement with Liberty Wrestling – and has thus forfeited his shot at the Liberty Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship – and his shot at the Titan Title – a shame really.
(A confused reaction from the crowd.)
Shawn Twilight: And while she’s recovering from an ailment at the moment – I would like to thank Kellie Taminson for her dedication to the federation – and congratulate her on making it to the finals of the Matthew Attict Career Memorial Titan Title Tournament. She’ll face the winner of the Riley/Surge match up to name the second ever Titan Champion.
(A positive reaction as Taminson’s promotional shot is shown overhead.)
Shawn Twilight: With that out of the way – why don’t we bring out our champion?
(“Fear of Dying” from Jack Off Jill takes over for A Perfect Circle. The video screen behind the entrance curtain shows highlights of former Seldon outings intercut with shots of the Liberty Wrestling World Heavyweight Title. Seldon comes cockily out to ringside in a snazzy t-shirt and baggy jeans. She stands up on the apron and holds the World Title up, eliciting the fans to react. This is followed by a backflip in the ring and a cocky glance at Drake opposite her.)
Shawn Twilight: Our "fighting" champion. You're getting slack for that - so do you blame us, the booking committee, or your obvious lack of talent and your gift title shot against Nightstryker?
Lisa Seldon: Wow. Forced retirement makes an old man snippy, doesn’t it?
Shawn Twilight: Real cute. Get to the answers.
Lisa Seldon: Cool. Anyway… if anything I’m blaming the absurd lack of competition your company actually employs, because if you honestly had one person worth defending against then I’d be more than happy. Of course you’d only end up canceling it or throwing a ton of deadweight in to hold me back, so that’s neither here nor there.
(She walks a semi-circle around the ring.)
Lisa Seldon: Come to think of it, I’ve only actually had one match where I could defend my title, and even that you let fall apart right as I was about to win. So yeah, I guess I kinda blame you too.
Shawn Twilight: Get in line. You've got three other opponents waiting for you in a cell all aiming for your title - what's the game plan?
Lisa Seldon: Well, first of all I’m going to burn through the two I’ve already beaten and then finish up the night by taking a few teeth from Vicious before winning the match, quick bow and then heading back home to buy a new cat.
Shawn Twilight: Whom are you worried most about going into your match?
Lisa Seldon: Two losers and that coward who can’t stand to get in the ring with me. Tough choice.
(She readjusts the title on her shoulder.)
Lisa Seldon: If anything, I’m more worried about that fat referee of yours choking on a Zagnut bar before he gets to the ring, and leaving me with no one left to count the pin after I decide which one of them I want to claim it on.
Shawn Twilight: You should have more faith in the fightin’ Swifkicky family. How are you going to escape the same fate of what happened in your last match with Vicious? Or is the giant cell around the ring your only answer to that?
Lisa Seldon: Well I think that fact that most of his friends are now dead is probably going to save that from being a problem, don’t you?
Shawn Twilight: Fear is a helluva drug. So what happened to your husband? He fall down a well or something?
Lisa Seldon: He’s at home housewifeing it up or something, I don’t know. I guess he just lost interest in the business again. He tends to do that, you know? He’ll probably be back in a few months anyway… and you’ll hire him back anyway I’m sure.
Shawn Twilight: Yeah, he should get his hopes up for that. What's your favorite thing about my family?
Lisa Seldon: It’s gotta be either: the fact that most of what you have these days is thanks to political say rather than what little ability it still has or the fact that you’ve got a habit of backing failures and running with them no matter how many times they fail you.
(Twilight doesn’t seem to pleased about that last comment.)
Lisa Seldon: That and you’ve got a hot wife. Congrats on that by the way.
Shawn Twilight: Thanks, I try. Any last words before you get in the ring with the one true perfect hero this community has ever seen later tonight?
Lisa Seldon: Yeah. When I get done tonight, and he’s so embarrassed by how bad I beat him that he disappears of the face of the earth again… can I have his office? I’d kinda like an office. Something in Walnut.
Shawn Twilight: Yeah, I’m sure the one true constant this community has ever had is just shaking in his boots over a girl who’s entire repertoire consists of something you can learn in a good Pilates class. Let’s give our world HEAVYweight Champion a hand folks.
(She does receive a large reaction from the contingent, thoroughly satisfied with conversation with Twilight. On her way out “American Dream Girl” from Joy Drop plays… Frost is on her way to ringside. The two share a deep glare – Seldon holds the title up to her face and then continues on her way to the back. Frost hops into the ring with Twilight.)
Shawn Twilight: Well – our next little interview of the evening brings a number one contender to the belt you just saw – Angelica Lee – how you doing?
(He hands her a microphone.)
Shawn Twilight: You've made an impact over the last couple months - some would say that Liberty Wrestling is glad to have you back - some would. I want to know what's the real reason you returned?
Angelica Lee: I don't know - boredom maybe. I was just sitting around the house and someone faxed me an offer. I signed it, and here we are. Does it really matter?
Shawn Twilight: What if I said yes?
Angelica Lee: I'd say no. Just to be difficult.
Shawn Twilight: That's so not like you. What's the deal with you and Kyle Lee? Spare us all the Days of our Lives drama please.
Angelica Lee: As simple as possible? We fell in love, got married, had some problems, had a big argument about something, and he left. Or I kicked him out - I don't remember which to be honest. If you want more detail than that then you'll have to pry it from someone else who knows. I don't go around putting my troubles and my life out there for everyone to see like some people.
Shawn Twilight: Are you going to be sad to see him leave the business in just over two weeks?
Angelica Lee: I've got a lot of mixed emotions about the match. Take that to mean whatever you want.
Shawn Twilight: Equivocating? Sophistry? Can I take it as any of those?
Angelica Lee: If you want. And you shouldn't be so sure that Jeff is going to win. Everyone makes mistakes.
Shawn Twilight: Not the perfect hero.
Angelica Lee: Hm - you know, I could've been sure he picked some kid named Josh Roe to succeed him awhile back. I wonder what happened to him.
Shawn Twilight: Who?
Angelica Lee: Exactly.
Shawn Twilight: Any sort of emotional attachment to fighting in San Francisco at the big card?
Angelica Lee: No. I mean, there's advantages to wrestling in ones hometown - family and friends present, sleeping in your own bed the night before instead of whatever flea-ridden hotel you and Jeff decide to use this year and what have you. But it's just where I happened to find a house I liked. I could've just as easily wound up in some other city.
Shawn Twilight: How are you going to beat out four other people in a cell at the main event of Vertigo? Your size and ability are certainly going to be working against you.
Angelica Lee: Ouch Shawn.
(She mocks grasping an arrow through her hear.)
Angelica Lee: Your wit wounds me so. Or not. Whatever.
Shawn Twilight: Funny. After you lose - what's next? Joining up with Matthew Attict cheap mystic spray tans? You look like you could use it.
Angelica Lee: I'll be back here; maybe I'll take up writing and see about giving you some better jokes. I mean I know you fell like forever ago, but that's no reason you should sound like a dinosaur, right?
Shawn Twilight: You should talk.
Angelica Lee: I just finished.
(Angie smirks and without further adieu, heads for the exits. We take a break.)
