(Stillwater, Oklahoma.  Okie State.  Outside the campus?  Wasteland.  Keep forcing yourself to live in this and suicide seems like not just the best option, but the only option.)

Aarya Ranvir:  Is it over yet?

Shawn Twilight:  No.

(The two sit outside the Gallagher-Iba Arena.)

Aarya Ranvir:  And now?

Shawn Twilight:  Not so much.

Aarya Ranvir:  You’re normally a lot chipper in these little intro segments… you want me to call Jeff and re-film this?

Shawn Twilight:  This is live.

Aarya Ranvir:  Oh, I guess so.

(Ranvir stares briefly at the camera and then takes his attention away.)

Shawn Twilight:  You do the tagline… I’m going to count the hour until we’re out of this nowhere land.

(Twilight gets up and walks towards the arena.)

Aarya Ranvir:  He doesn’t realize this is my first Tuesday card since my hiring in November of last year, and I have no idea what the tagline is.  We got different intro music.  Different commentators, including myself, which means I better rush.  We got the first round to the Matthew Attict Career Memorial Titan Title Tournament… and other… things.  So… um… yeah.  Enjoy yourselves.  This is the Truth… and it’s Tuesday?

 

("The Second Coming" from Juelz Santana.  A very short intro package with still shots of past and present Liberty Wrestling personalities.  We eventually fade into a threesome behind the commentator’s desk.  Dan Timberland, Aarya Ranvir and Merritt Paulson, an LWF intern trying to earn professional experience in an unprofessional setting.)

Dan Timberland:  Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome back for the first time in a long time to Tuesday Night Truth!  And I’m pleased to announce that this time, I’m not joined by Ransom but the head of Liberty Wrestling Talent Development and Recruiting – Mr. Aarya Ranvir.

Aarya Ranvir:  That’s right.

Dan Timberland:  And seated next to him, standout LWF intern and personal assistant to Mr. Ranvir – Merritt Paulson.

Merritt Paulson:  Thanks Dan.

Dan Timberland:  And without hesitation, let’s kick it to Joel Cronus in the ring…

(Joel in his customary spot with his note cards.)

Joel Cronus:  G’evening Stillwater – welcome to the LWF’s Tuesday Night Truth!  Our first match is scheduled for one fall and is a round one match of the Matthew Attict Career Memorial Titan Title Tournament.  There are no Disqualifications except for count outs – a twelve-minute time limit and there must be a winner.  Matches lasting longer than the prescribed twelve minutes will be in the hands of our executive judges situated around ringside.

Dan Timberland:  Executive judges?  No one told me anything about that.

Aarya Ranvir:  Did you get the memo?

Joel Cronus:  Introducing first…

(“Shipping Up to Boston” chimes in and the lights go a tint of green.)

Joel Cronus:  From Boston, Massachusetts – being brought to the ring by the Slutkickys….

(Nick Swifkicky and his lady friends come down to ringside.)

Joel Cronus:  I give you… IRON NICK SWIFKICKY!

(The music die out and is replaced by “Bullet Proof Skin” from Institute.  A pattern of strobing white lights illuminate the entranceway.)

Joel Cronus:  And his opponent from Las Vegas, Nevada…

(Surge comes down to the ring as the lights pick up.  He shakes some hands on the way down and receives a favorable reaction from the crowd.)

Joel Cronus:  At 230 pounds… I give you – SURGE!

*DING, DING*

(Surge slides underneath the bottom rope and Swifkicky waits for him to get to his feet.)

Dan Timberland:  Surge has had some tough luck the last couple weeks… let’s see if he can turn things around here against  Nick Swifkicky.

Aarya Ranvir:  You know my records dictate that’s more than a possibility.

Dan Timberland:  Swifkicky is a fighter, I wouldn’t discount him in this match.

Aarya Ranvir:  He’s lost his last fifteen matches… none of them even close.  I see no reason the streak should break.

(Surge wins a lock up.  He floats around to a waist lock.)

Dan Timberland:  But Swifkicky has experience… and in these Titan Title matches, with no disqualifications and a twelve minute time limit – who’s to say what will come of it?

Aarya Ranvir:  The numbers do.  And Nick Swifkicky has a two percent chance of coming away with a victory tonight.

(Swifkicky counters with a back elbow, sending Surge staggering back.)

Aarya Ranvir:  The only thing I can think of with a lower percentage of completion would be November retiring Jeffery Drake at a Fall From Grace 8.

Dan Timberland:  How can you say that?

(Nick charges at Surge who ducks under and hot shots him off the top rope.)

Aarya Ranvir:  Phonetically.

Dan Timberland:  You remind me a little too much of my Friday Night Fiction color commentator.

Aarya Ranvir:  You calling me colored?

(Iron Nick rebounds back and Surge catches him with a jumping reverse neck breaker.)

Dan Timberland:  I didn’t do that in the least?  We’re missing a helluva match out there?

Aarya Ranvir:  No we’re not.  Swifkicky can’t win.  The numbers are against him.

(Surge slides out of the ring and works his way through some of the Slutkickys.)

Dan Timberland:  Surge making his way through some of Nick’s entourage.  And the numbers don’t decide everything, if they did there would be no drama in anything.

Aarya Ranvir:  Do we really need drama in everything?  You’re very one-minded Dan.  Open up.

(Surge grabs a chair and throws in into the ring.)

Dan Timberland:  Surge throwing that chair in the ring… a reminder there are no disqualifications in any matches during this Titan Title Tournament.  Merritt… you can’t possibly believe that numbers decide everything?

Aarya Ranvir:  She does.

Merritt Paulson:  I do.

(Swifkicky tries to reach the chair but Surge kicks him back.)

Dan Timberland:  I get the feeling she just answers the way you want her to.

Aarya Ranvir:  She does.

Merritt Paulson:  I do.

Dan Timberland:  Great, a wonderful addition to our Tuesday night team.

(Swifkicky charges in again, but Surge throws the chair in his face.)

Dan Timberland:  Surge throwing that chair in Iron Nick’s face.  That was quite a crack. 

(Surge picks up Swifkicky in a crucifix position.)

Dan Timberland:  Lifting him up in that crucifix position…

Aarya Ranvir:  Just like the numbers said he would.

(He throws him and brings him down in a three-fourths facelock right on the chair.  Swifkicky is out cold.)

Dan Timberland:  And down!  Bloodlust from Surge!
(Surge with a press cover.)

1

 

 

2

 

 

3

*DING, DING*

Dan Timberland:  Surge showing some tenacity tonight… he’s back on the winning track as he disposes of Iron Nick Swifkicky.

(Dick Swifkicky  holds up Surge’s hand.)

Aarya Ranvir:  Just like the numbers said he would.

Dan Timberland:  Enough of that already.  This means Surge is the first person in Liberty Wrestling to advance to round two of the Titan Title Tournament!

(Surge leaves the ring victorious while Dick and the Slutkickys attend to his son in the ring.)

Aarya Ranvir:  But that means he’s facing Matt Attict…

Dan Timberland:  If he shows.

Aarya Ranvir:  The numbers say he will.  And they don’t lie.

(The camera follows Surge down as he acknowledges the fans before he exits.  From behind, Malt Liquor Matt appears.)

Dan Timberland:  That’s “Malt Liquor” Matt?  What’s he doing here – the Expert isn’t even scheduled for tonight.

Aarya Ranvir:  He looks a little tipsy.

Dan Timberland:  A little?

(Matt smashes a forty-ounce over the head Surge.)

Dan Timberland:  Jesus!  He just laid out Surge.

Aarya Ranvir:  You notice no liquid came out of the bottle after he struck him with it.

Dan Timberland:  He doesn’t even know where he is right now.

(Matt really doesn’t as a group of LWF backstage officials rush in to take him away from the fallen Surge.)

Aarya Ranvir:  The numbers saw that coming too.

Dan Timberland:  Dear Lord… please let’s take a break.

(They do.)